It’s a classic thought problem in philosophy: An out-of-control trolly is headed down a track where it will hit and kill five people. You are in control of a lever which, if pulled, will divert the trolly to a track where it will only kill one person. Should you pull the lever?
My identity and others’ distaste for who I am are not two equally valid opinions. There is no both/and on this subject. If you tolerate homophobia in your church, you are not queer-affirming.
Just once I’d like to see a Christian space treat homophobia the same way so many well-meaning homophobes treat my capacity to love: If someone asks if their homophobic views will be tolerated, a queer-friendly Christian space should say we welcome everyone and we’re all sinners, so even though they are sinning in believing the homophobic view, God still loves them and they as individuals are welcome in our space.